Finding Yourself As A Mother By Sumaira Zaheer

You hear it all the time- mothers
expressing that they don’t know who
they are anymore after having
children- and it makes total sense to
feel this way. However, remember that
it doesn’t have to be this way forever.
Here are a few suggestions to help you
find yourself after becoming a mother:
Change Your Thinking
The way we think impacts how we
feel, that’s why it is key to keep in
mind that raising children does not
mean our life has come to an end;
rather your life has changed- and
that’s okay!
It’s easy to slip into the mindset that
children will prevent you from living
life to your fullest, that you won’t be as
social as you once were, traveling will
be harder, or that you don’t have time
for self care anymore; however, don’t
lose sight of what you are gaining.
Children will bring joy into your life,
you’ll get to see them reach important
milestones, grow into kind adults- all
of which will give you a fulfillment
you will get otherwise.
Finding Peace In Prayer
It’s beautiful how a time of chaos (i.e
amidst kids crying and throwing
tantrums) can be combated by a few
moments of peace through prayer!
When you’re stressed, praying will
give you that break your mind and
body so desire.
No longer will your mind be stressed,
instead it will be focused on Allah
subhanu wa taala and you will find
yourself doing back to finding the true
meaning of this life- pleasing Allah.
How wonderful is it that, during five
times a day, your mind and soul is in
a state of peace and content via
Do What You LOVE
You may feel tired and exhausted as a
mother, but don’t forget to go back to
the things you once loved to do, even if
it’s just for half an hour a day or once
a week.
If you love reading, treat yourself to a
new book; if you love to just be with
friends, then schedule a coffee date
with them whenever you can. It really
is the simple things that will allow you
to feel like your old self again!
Find Alternatives
Often times, we may want to do
something, but then think, “wait a
minute, how can I do this as a mother
with children?” The solution is to find
For example, if you love to travel, then
know that you still can, but it would be
best to look for child friendly resorts
that can accommodate your children’s
needs. If you are missing going to
events, then look for events that have
on-site babysitting options available. If
you feel lonely and want to interact
with more adults, but find it difficult
to go anywhere with your children,
then you may want to consider going
to places like an indoor playground,
that will keep your children busy while
you chat with the other mom’s.
Do Things Together
More so than not, mothers may feel
that they are not meeting their
personal goals, compared to as they
once were prior to having children.
But what about achieving your
personal goals with your family? This
a great way to not only get things
done, but to also feel good about
For instance, if your goal is to workout
and eat healthy, then put on a fitness
DVD and exercise with your children
at home- I have tried this and it’s an
excellent way to spend time with your
children, plus they are burning off
their energy and you are burning
calories Also, get your children
involved in cooking healthy foods, like
whole wheat pizza where they get to
select their own toppings!
I pray that these tips will be of some
use for mothers who are struggling to
find themselves after having children!
I personally know of the struggles we
face as parents, but taking note of the
blessings that come with parenthood-
that is a huge blessing in itself!
Please share your thoughts in the
comments section below.


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